The Wind in the ....Undies?

Even though hanging clothes out on the line is not my favorite thing to do, I do love them flapping in the breeze, and I love the way the clothes smell when I bring them inside.

The other day, the breeze was crisp and more windy than breezy.  I hung a few things on the line and went into the house.  I always feel a bit sheepish when I hang my undergarments out to dry,
 but aside from

the comings and goings of my own people, we have no close neighbors to gawk at the size of my drawers or the holes in my socks so it's all good.....usually.

Ringo, our beagle is a bit of a rambler.  He roams from house to house on our road where, from time to time, kind neighbors invite him in and/or give him a treat so it was no surprise to see him trotting across the front yard with a treat in his mouth.  What was a surprise was seeing him toss said treat into the air with wild abandon thoroughly enjoying the breeze, the sun and his treat.  He was all but grinning as he got closer to the porch.  I stood at the window and watched, thinking how frisky he was for his age....how it must be some treat to elicit such puppy-like behavior from the old guy....until....

I realized the prize in his mouth was, indeed, my leopard print Victoria Secret 100% cotton panties....a gift from my dear 20-something year old niece, casually hidden among the nude cotton panties as a little "joke" a couple years ago.

I all but broke my neck as I made a mad dash down the front steps and lunged at the happy dog.  Visions of UPS men, FedEx drivers, other farmers, neighbors, or God forbid Jehovah's Witnesses flashed before my eyes as Ringo gave chase with the leopard skins hanging from his mouth.

I cannot imagine what this dog thought.  The woman who normally considers rising from the chair to drop a few morsels into the feed dish exercise, was now racing 19 to the dozen across the yard trying to catch this aged hound as he proudly carried my undergarments in his mouth like the blue ribbon in a redneck dog show.  I don't expect either of us ever to be the same again.

I am happy to say that I did manage to corner Ringo and retrieve that which was mine before anyone drove up to witness my humiliation.  Both of us retired to our respective resting spots and those particular under things will never again make an appearance outside....I hope.  I did wake up in the night worried that perhaps he had made his rounds with my underthings in his mouth....but I've seen two neighbors since the incident and didn't get strange looks so I have resolved not to worry about it...much.

It would be nice to think I could at least spin this into a children's book somehow, but I think that is way beyond my skill level as a writer.