I'm not really a tired person but I play one in real life....

My craft friend Maryellen of Twiststyle is expecting a baby this spring.  She remarked the other day on Facebook that she was so sick of people asking her if she was tired.  I feel her pain.

No, I am most definately NOT pregnant.  I am old.  Old.  I prefer being old to the alternative of NOT getting old, but like my cute pregnant friend, I am TIRED of people asking if I am tired.  I have decided therefore to create a little card, check the items that apply, and hand out to the person who inquires .  It will look like this:

Thank you for your inquiry.  Please note:
1.  I am not tired, I am old.
2.  I am not tired, I am old and my eyes droop.
3.  I am not tired, I am just pale because (see #1)
4.  I am not tired, I just need a facelift...........OR   
5.  I AM tired, thank you for asking.  I am tired because my teenager came in very late last night.
6.  I AM tired thank you for asking.  I am tired because the farmer, who can't hear, had the TV on too loud last night until 2 am watching  Swamp Loggers.
7.  I AM tired, thank you for asking.  I am tired because a drunk person called at 2 am last night and thought he saw a cow on the road.
8.  I AM tired, thank you for asking.  I am tired because a drunk person HIT a cow on the road at 2 AM last night and the police called for the farmer to come and collect the carcass (of the cow not the drunk).
9.  I AM tired, thank you for asking.  I am tired because my miniature *donkey* hee-hawed and kept me awake for a long long time.
10. (and my personal favorite)  I AM TIRED.  And while we're at it I HAVE gained weight, thank you for noticing, and yes, my hair does need a trim.  It HAS indeed been a while since I had my eyebrows done, and  I am seriously considering therapy.

Please feel free to add possibilities to this list.                          photo credit uberculture at flickr